The Battle I Could Not Win Alone

After I lost my wife of thirty years to ovarian cancer, my life crumbled.

So much grief and sadness. I was trying to help my precious children through the loss of their mother while I was grieving too, and it overwhelmed me. Everything felt hopeless and dark.

Maybe we have stood somewhere like that. It may have been a phone call, a closed door, or a plan we spent years building that fell apart in one afternoon. And most of us do the same thing next. We push harder. We make a new plan. We try to carry it all on our own strength.

The enemy knows that road well. Satan comes to steal and kill and destroy. When he cannot destroy us, he tries to steal from us. One day we wake up and our confidence and joy are gone. It has happened to me. All of us face an uphill battle if we try to defeat him on our own.

So I turned to the powerful promises of God, as I had so many times in my ministry. I clung to the Rock while the storm raged around me.

Clinging is a strange way to fight. It means letting go of everything else first. The plan we wrote. The way we thought our life would go. Our right to understand why.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6, BSB)

Letting go of our own understanding costs something. It is hard to hand God the pen when we cannot see the next page. But the hands that let go are the only hands free to hold on to Him.

What are we still holding that He never asked us to carry alone?

He carried me. He delivered my soul as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. His promises kept me close to Him and gave me the spiritual power to win the battle. Today all my children still follow and serve the Lord. Their mother’s death drew them closer to God, not away. Yet another promise fulfilled.

So let’s stop fighting this one alone. Let me give you the prayer I wrote at the end of my book for every reader. I pray it for you today:

Lord, forgive us for relying on our own strength and understanding. May Your kingdom come and Your will be done in my friend’s life.

Then open your hands, and hold on to the Rock.